when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
