she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
