TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
