Who did Billy Mays play for?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
