I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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