ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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