someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
