You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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