turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
