Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
