I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
