Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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