I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
