Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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