she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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