i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You can't motorboat a personality
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I did not marry a roomba.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize