i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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