So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
