You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
