he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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