I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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