He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
