She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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