I think I am morally bankrupt
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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