i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
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HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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