You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
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It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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