But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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