I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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