So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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