just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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