when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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