We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
