Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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