i just had sex bonerless
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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