thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
