he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.