I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
