Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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