This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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