doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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