you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
