She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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