how can u be prego again
I just threw up on my dentist
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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