The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
