walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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