you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
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I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize