She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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