DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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