Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
