I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
