Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
