I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick