no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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