His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
