Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I need moral support for this bender
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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