Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize