We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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