I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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