those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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