kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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