kristin has been a bad kristin
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I deserve this hangover.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
