is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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