What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
